Museum of the Profane Series by J.B. Trepagnier

There is a cornucopia of cursed objects from one of the most dangerous cults ever headed my way and I’ve never been more excited. My twin sister, Ripley, says when your hot wolfy archaeologist exboyfriend, who likes to cosplay as Indiana Jones in the most non ironic way, shows up again, you do not add to cart. But he’s been doing digs in Norway and Ireland at the ruins of the site where one of the most dangerous cults ever met their end. He’s bringing me toys. Lots of nice, cursed toys... moreThere is a cornucopia of cursed objects from one of the most dangerous cults ever headed my way and I’ve never been more excited. My twin sister, Ripley, says when your hot wolfy archaeologist exboyfriend, who likes to cosplay as Indiana Jones in the most non ironic way, shows up again, you do not add to cart. But he’s been doing digs in Norway and Ireland at the ruins of the site where one of the most dangerous cults ever met their end. He’s bringing me toys. Lots of nice, cursed toys.One of these items is the most curious puzzle box. There are layers of curses to unravel to get to what’s inside. Maybe I’m stupid, but I’m dying to know what was so important to the Cult of the Aether Sisters that they stuck it in this box behind this much protection and buried it under ground.Everyone is warning me not to. I should have listened. less

There is a cornucopia of cursed objects from one of the most dangerous cults ever headed my way and I’ve never been more excited. My twin sister, Ripley, says when your hot wolfy archaeologist exboyfriend, who likes to cosplay as Indiana Jones in the most non ironic way, shows up again, you do not add to cart. But he’s been doing digs in Norway and Ireland at the ruins of the site where one of the most dangerous cults ever met their end. He’s bringing me toys. Lots of nice, cursed toys... moreThere is a cornucopia of cursed objects from one of the most dangerous cults ever headed my way and I’ve never been more excited. My twin sister, Ripley, says when your hot wolfy archaeologist exboyfriend, who likes to cosplay as Indiana Jones in the most non ironic way, shows up again, you do not add to cart. But he’s been doing digs in Norway and Ireland at the ruins of the site where one of the most dangerous cults ever met their end. He’s bringing me toys. Lots of nice, cursed toys.One of these items is the most curious puzzle box. There are layers of curses to unravel to get to what’s inside. Maybe I’m stupid, but I’m dying to know what was so important to the Cult of the Aether Sisters that they stuck it in this box behind this much protection and buried it under ground.Everyone is warning me not to. I should have listened. less

How is this my life right now? Key is not really Doctor Key. I’m over that part, but it wouldn’t shock me if he really was a doctor. He definitely wasn’t lying about getting arrested. There are now three people at my museum who can translate the missing page from the grimoire as easily as breathing. This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all.But I trust my new houseguests. They have intimate knowledge of Thorunn and the Cult of the Aether Sisters... moreHow is this my life right now? Key is not really Doctor Key. I’m over that part, but it wouldn’t shock me if he really was a doctor. He definitely wasn’t lying about getting arrested. There are now three people at my museum who can translate the missing page from the grimoire as easily as breathing. This isn’t good. This isn’t good at all.But I trust my new houseguests. They have intimate knowledge of Thorunn and the Cult of the Aether Sisters. They all have their reasons for stopping them and yeah, I just met Sleipnir and Bjorn, but they are planning some sort of reckoning on Valentine for what he did to me. The only problem is that Bjorn sees the future and he hasn’t seen us stopping Thorunn from coming back from the dead and starting a new cult. less

Loki has nothing on a witch when you come for what’s theirs. The cult was around long enough to know this. They want Gemini twins by their side. Oh, they are going to get us—right up in their faces showing them exactly what we are capable of. Kaine wants this done on the up and up with everyone in handcuffs and their day in court. Sorry, not sorry, but we are way past that now. I’ve got one Norse god and two Vikings living in my house. We’re going old school with this.